I went out with Minying and Huisi today. They are both still as funny and gossipy. These 2 gals are not like me at all. For one, they actually look their (our) age. I think I'm very juvenile and 'chin chai' in the way I dress, whereas they dress in the typical orchard-glam-gals style. And they are pretty! And they don't wear weird facial expressions the way I'm very used to doing. So they can look super cool while gossiping, while I look gossipy even while I'm sitting in the office looking at 'debit and credit'. I think they are different because they are very confident of themselves. They don't seem to bring with them the usual gloom I sense in myself or some of my other friends. The I-don't-know-what-shit-is-in-store-for-me-tomorrow kind of gloom. They exude confidence in a I-know-tomorrow-will-be-good-because-I-deserve-it way. Somehow, they make me see that cool-looking, confident people aren't necesarily cold and scary. And people who look good can be nice too. I've always been rather prejudiced against good-lookers, but I think I ought to be more open-minded. I just used to think that God can't give some people everything: looks, confidence, nicenesss. Well, I was all wrong. Confidence and niceness ain't ever bestowed by God in the first place. So while I can forgive myself for plain-jane looks, it'll be a sin to deliberately behave badly, or to not have confidence. For some things, it's all up to me.